Something funny Liana? Oh Daddy's telling jokes again....

Ashton's Joke of the Day

My first thought this morning was "I want brownies." Like the ones that I made and brought to my mom's on Saturday. I was drooling over my recollection of their soft and chewy texture when it occurred to me that I'm pretty sure I ate 4 out of the 12 brownies that I brought! How embarrassing! But I still wanted more. So I got myself out of bed and had my morning visit with the bathroom before remembering I have chocolate ice cream in the freezer! So now, 10:30am when I am finally getting out of bed, I also have a pint of chocolate ice cream sitting next to me with a spoon. :)

To be fair, I didn't actually wake up at 10:30. I woke up when my boyfriend left for work, which was probably around 7:45. I decided to become conscious shortly after 8 and picked up my copy of Jenny McCarthy's "Belly Laughs" (so thoughtfully gifted to me by Susie what seems like ages ago!), and began reading how she comically describes her pregnancy experience. I finished the entire book in two hours and by the end, just ended up feeling really bad for her. Although I felt like (at least so far) we were having two completely opposite pregnancies, I still sympathized with what she went through and found myself rubbing my tummy and thanking my little girl for being such a princess and not putting me through the horrors that were in this book. Parts of the book definitely made me laugh out loud and as I read her story of labor and delivery I was totally broke down sobbing as I turned the page. One preggo lady to another, I totally admire her for everything she went through and that in the end she says she wants to do it all again! Maybe it's the hormones, or maybe it's knowing that many other women have similar experiences to her (and I could have as well), but I found myself feeling shocked and thankful that I have been so lucky with my first pregnancy. She recounts her days of morning sickness, hormonal rages, constipation, hemorrhoids, hot flashes, terrible gas, dwindling bedroom time with her husband, cellulite gain, facial acne and rashes, bodily swelling, gaining 60lbs, and even buying granny panties! I'm sitting here reading these thinking "OMG THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME." Then I remembered I am 6 months and 11 days preggo and I have not experienced any of these things, while Jenny started experiencing these things within the first 10 weeks. For some reason I often think everything I read will come true for me, however, 95% of what I have read or been told has not happened. Oh yes, I read all about Jenny's painful and growing boobs and was right along side her with that. But even though they hurt like hell for at least 3 months and woke me up a few times in the middle of the night because they ached when I rolled over, I was actually happy about it because I knew they were (and still are) getting ready to produce my baby's breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a million snack times for the long haul. And if breastfeeding works out the way I hope it does, I will be thankful for my time spent at the store buying bigger bras and maybe even the times I spent swatting Ashton away from them because they were sore.

One thing that I took away from Jenny's book (as I do with most pregnancy and birth stories) is that pregnancy, labor, delivery, and motherhood are different for every mother and child. One experience does not dictate all, and even what I plan to happen does not dictate what WILL happen. Knowing that our bodies are all different and handle this experience differently does not change one simple fact: Our bodies were made for this. I honestly feel like I was made to give birth and, as terrified as I have been about the actual process of pushing the baby out, I am feeling more connected with the idea with each day that passes. I know it will probably be hard and painful and seem unbearable, but it is something I know that I can do. Delivery has been the one aspect of this entire journey that I was completely terrified of. Not the horrors of pregnancy, not the exhaustion and omg-what-the-hell-do-i-do-with-a-newborn postpartum feelings, nope. It was the delivery that I wanted to pretend wasn't going to happen. And although I am still nervous about it (who wouldn't be nervous about passing a watermelon?), I am so looking forward to the challenge of childbirth. I know I can do it, because my body was made for this.

How far along? 24 weeks.
Total weight gain? I think like 12-13 pounds.
Stretch marks? None.
Best moment this week? Christmas with my family. It was one of the funnest I've had in a long time. Mom made a super yummy dinner, a trivia game that we all failed miserably at, and a fun way of stuffing our own stockings. She's the best. :) Also, going to the movies with Ashton as our Christmas treat. ♥

Our last day of 2013.

We had a berry crunchy (and delicious!) breakfast this morning. Multigrain waffles, chia seeds, flax seeds, vanilla almond granola, dried cherries, strawberries, blackberries, raspberries and maple syrup. Mmmm.

And celebrating my little girl one last time in 2013, I made a princess smore as a snack before work!

I worked a mid-shift that went by at a decent pace. Ashton came to visit on my lunch break and we enjoyed wraps and Nantucket juices together. After work, we went to my apartment to pick up some clothes for the next few days and now we are back at his place watching Top Gear. Or should I say, I am watching it and he is nodding off to sleep, lol. He's basically a grandpa when it comes to bed time. We do have champagne glasses with apple cider awaiting midnight's arrival, but I'm not sure we will make it!!

First off, I'd like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and hope that you all took a moment to think of the things that you are truly thankful for in your lives. There are so many things that bring me joy and smiles and laughter and excitement every single day and most of all, I am thankful to be living a healthy and happy life. I'm truly grateful for all of my family and wonderful friends who have stuck with me over the years. I'm thankful for my boyfriend and all the love he shows me every day, and for our little peanut in my belly. I love you all! ♥


Ashton and I went to my mom's for Thanksgiving, which was a lot of fun, but I wish Deasha could have been there for dinner too. Everyone was of course wondering about the news of our little one and waited as patiently as they could. I waited until after dinner (I'm surprised my mom could wait that long!) to share the news. Before the big reveal, I had my family play a little trivia game with questions that were all about the baby (which I actually only just thought up on one of my many pee breaks prior to dinner!). I came up with eight questions and gave out little treat bags of chocolate truffles as prizes for the person who got the question right first. It was fun to have everyone participate and to see who reads my blog, haha. Desiree got three questions right first and three bags of truffles, and I believe everyone else at the table ended with one bag of truffles. I was surprised my mom didn't dominate the game! Even my little cousin got a bag of truffles for saying "pickles!" before I got a chance to ask the last question, lol. Lastly I got a quick poll of who thought baby was a boy or a girl (2 votes boy -- even though mom lied about her vote, and the rest voted girl) and then Ashton and I went in the other room to get our surprise dessert. Ashton tied a pink ribbon around my tummy and we came back in carrying a platter of red velvet cupcakes with white frosting and pink sugar sprinkles!

I hope she doesn't mind me posting about this on here, but honestly everything is too cute not to! Susie sent me the most thoughtful little baby package down from New Hampshire this past week and I had such a fun time opening it. I actually packaged it all back up and brought it to Ashton's so we could open it again together, haha.

The box was full of parenting books and DVDs, the most adorable organic toys, a super soft blankie, little baby shoes!, and other essentials with a personal note on top. I knew one or two books were coming, but the whole package was quite the surprise!

 
Thank you so much Susie for putting your thoughts and care into that. It really is a wonderful gift and completely made my day. ♥

How far along? 16 weeks
Total weight gain? 4 pounds
Stretch marks? None :)
Maternity clothes? Not necessary.
Best moment this week? Halloween flutters!! Continuing our registry, and listening to the sound file below.  : )






Ps. A little treat from Ashton this week . . . . !!!!!

Disclaimer about this post: The third and largest paragraph is really just me ranting about being forced into the consumerism of modern medicine and my personal beliefs about my lifestyle and why I don't want to get the flu shot. If you're reading to follow my pregnancy, I'm sure you'll only find the first two paragraphs and the end ones relevant and you can skip that giant rant in the middle.

I was so excited to go to my next OB appointment, and was really sad when it got pushed back 4 days. My appointment did not go at all like I thought it would. We were in the waiting room for a little while as usual, but as soon as we were in the room and the doctor came in, the appointment was less than 10 minutes. I was somehow convinced she would do an ultrasound and that there would be a possibility of checking for the baby's sex. But nope. She shook my hand and sat down at her computer and typed some things while asking me questions, but she wasn't even looking at me. I felt like she harassed me about not wanting to get a flu shot, then said I should take an iron supplement since my last blood test showed I am slightly anemic. Then she had me lay down so we could hear the baby's heartbeat. We heard it for about 5 seconds before she determined that it was healthy and we were done. She handed me a paper to make an 18 week ultrasound examination appointment and left the room. I have never been happier to get out of a doctor's office in my life!

I felt so unimportant in that appointment. Now, I know not everything revolves around me, but in MY appointment for MY baby, I feel like it should! I was so put off by her, that I really don't want to see her again. I scheduled my next appointment with my midwife and am so happy about that! I was first annoyed when she noted that I am mildly anemic and gave me a list of things to eat, starting with red meat. When she found out that I don't eat meat, she automatically said I should take an iron supplement, no questions asked. Same thing with the flu shot. She asked why I didn't want one and I already knew it wasn't going to matter what I said to her, so I gave her a half-assed answer and said I have never gotten the flu or a flu shot, so I didn't want one now. She basically said that was the most ridiculous reason she's ever heard. Way to try to make me feel like an idiot. Actually, I was thinking the same thing about her.

Why do doctors assume people are stupid and can't take care of themselves? Why do doctors assume that a pill, a man made chemical, a lab-produced solution is the best way to fix a problem? Medicine always has side affects in human bodies. Our bodies are made of natural components and putting unnatural elements in our bodies challenges those components. Becoming vegan has been the most amazing experience of my life. I find that it is a way to cleanse my body by not putting unnecessary toxins into it. I eat a nutrient-rich, plant based diet, I don't buy or consume anything (food and nonfood items) made from animal byproducts and I do not take medicine (besides herbal remedies) if I can avoid it. And you know what? I also, have never felt healthier, or cleaner, or more connected with my body. Plants, grains, nuts and seeds have all of the essential nutrients that human bodies need to not only survive, but to thrive. So just because I don't eat red meat, doesn't mean I need an iron supplement. I was extremely offended that she would even jump to that conclusion without asking about my diet or even suggesting a healthier diet. I was immediately under the impression that she is one of those doctors that is on the side of the money-making pharmaceutical companies and not on the side of her patient's health. And way to be all "I am a doctor, I know best" by trying to scare me into getting a flu shot. I've done research, I know the flu shot, just like any other vaccine, has potential side effects. I know that thimerosal is a common ingredient in most flu vaccines; an ingredient which has not yet been proven to be safe for pregnant women (sorry but I don't want to be a part of that experiment!). I know that pregnant women are given a vaccine that does not contain a live virus. The vaccine is meant to help the mother's body produce antibodies against the virus, antibodies that can be passed to the baby as well. But there are natural ways for a body to fight a virus (a healthy diet- rich in vitamin c, magnesium, zinc and lots of protein, adequate sleep- 7-9 hours, daily exercise- at least 30 mins, eliminating stress- meditation or yoga, etc.) I also know that there is a possibility of still getting the flu, even if I do have a flu shot. CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention) basically picks which strains of the virus to include in a vaccine for any given year. If I am exposed to a strain of the virus that is not included in the vaccine, I can still contract the flu. Lastly, almost all flu vaccines have egg protein in them, which is not considered vegan since it is an animal byproduct. So there you go Dr. Diaz, I am NOT getting a flu shot.

Anyway, I was not intending to rant on about my doctor or the flu vaccine, I just got so worked up I literally couldn't stop typing! I know I am only twenty-five, and no I have not been pregnant during flu season before, but I am not stupid and these are MY choices for MY body and MY baby. I believe that my body is designed to keep me healthy naturally, and I will do all I can to promote that. Of course, if I do get the flu I will also do everything I can to get better as quickly as possible, but I will jump that hurdle if I get to it. Again, I just want to say that these are my choices based on my opinions and beliefs and I am not trying to force anyone to believe the way that I do. If you already do, that is great for you, but I think everyone should do what they believe is best for them and not be forced to do anything with their bodies that they are not comfortable with.

Lastly, on a much lighter and happier note, Ashton was super sneaky and got to record a few seconds of the baby's heartbeat!! I wish he was home so I could listen to it right now and forget about my OB doctor. I will just happily rub my tummy in the meantime. :)

I know I haven't mentioned him in the first few posts, but Ashton has been super supportive through all my mood swings and up/down moments these past few days. I have been super happy/excited, sad, angry, nervous, anxious, overwhelmed, everything under the sun.. and Ashton has never left my side for a second.

We were at the urgent care facility together and when I came out into the waiting area I immediately pulled him outside and handed him the papers that say I am pregnant. All I remember him saying is "oh my god" and I didn't know if that was good or bad. I involuntarily started crying and he hugged me right away. I gave him my keys because I didn't think I could drive. My sadness turned into anger and I wouldn't talk to him for the half hour ride to his apartment and wouldn't let him touch me. I think he understood though and didn't force conversation.

I did a lot of thinking during that car ride. I was sad because I didn't think I was ready for this huge amount of responsibility that I knew was coming and I was angry at Ashton for letting this happen. But the truth is, I know I am more responsible than I give myself credit for, I have a great family that I shouldn't hesitate to turn to for support, and it's not Ashton's fault at all because we are both in this together.

My sadness and anger washed away and was then replaced by fear. I started second guessing my health and was wondering if my body would be a suitable place for a baby to thrive for the next nine months. I've heard a million times over that being vegan while pregnant isn't the easiest task in the world and I'm worried about getting enough nutrition for the both of us. While that fear remains, excitement has also been added to the mix. Desiree really brought that out for me. Seeing her happy about it really affirmed my happiness as well.

Ashton hasn't said much on the subject, but I am such an introvert that I haven't been able to share my feelings with him either. I've only said things like, "I read online that the first urine test can be wrong. I might not actually be pregnant." I know that sounds terrible, but I don't know how to tell him that if I am pregnant, I really am happy about it. I think it is because I don't know how he feels about it at all and I don't want to be happy if he is miserable. Won't he be surprised when(if) he reads this!

Thank you, Ashton, for supporting me always. I'm so lucky you are here with me. ♥