This week has been.... let's just say, "horrendous". And there's still half of the week left. I'm not one to post negativity on my blog, but I suppose I'll tell it like it is.

I've had planned for several weeks that this Monday was to be my first day back at work and I spent a lot of time in my head preparing myself. We picked out a day care and took a little tour and everything was to be all set on that end. I knew I'd be upset when I left Liana for the first time, especially her being in someone else's care. I had to keep reassuring myself that these people are trained professionals and that nothing was going to happen to her. But I was still working myself up with pre-separation anxiety. I wondered if Liana was feeling the same way.

Monday came and Ashton went off to work in the morning as usual. Due to some (partially) unforeseen circumstances, Liana, however, did not go to day care. I brought her to work with me around noon and Ashton took a half day from work and met up with me to pick up Liana. Things were not going as planned. I hate to admit I was slightly relieved knowing that Liana would be home with her daddy while I was at work. Of course three hours into my shift I took a break and still called home to check up on her. I missed her so much. She will be in day care soon and I know I'll miss her even more. I just hope she doesn't get separation anxiety from me too badly. :(

Also while "unenjoying" my first day back at work, something else completely unexpected happened to me. How do I put this lightly...? My first set of ... monthly lady problems ... since I got pregnant decided to peek in on me and see how I was doing. I tried to tell her I was delighted by her ten month absence and that she could continue her vacation for a little longer, but she insisted on staying. Maybe some of you have experienced this, but for those women who haven't and men that never will, let me tell you about one thing in life that can cause more pain than childbirth. I had read about and heard from a friend that your first menstrual cycle after giving birth can be a little shocking and pretty awful. I was so naive thinking "how bad can it be?" THE WORST. The heaviest and most painful I have ever experienced! I was literally bending over in pain. It was embarrassing enough to have this happen at work, but then I had to pretend like it wasn't happening. I had a terrible night of sleep due to the cramps and the next morning I couldn't wait to take a hot shower (hot showers have always helped with my cramps, I think this is why I wanted the tub when I was in labor!). I woke up and I think Ashton was a little disturbed by my state and quickly offered to go out and get me any kind of medicine. Yes, please! So now I know what to expect (and to dread) next time. And so do any of you planning for your first child. Don't do it!! No, I am kidding, I would definitely do it again to be blessed with such a beautiful baby. But honestly, I felt like my body was being sneaky for ten months making me think I was getting off scot-free, and then got a good laugh when it threw this on my plate my first day back at work. Ha. Ha. (Note the sarcasm.)

Later on Tuesday I was feeling a little better due to the meds, but then something ELSE happened on my way to work. I think it was an allergic reaction to the pollen or maybe something got in my eye, but whatever it was made the bottom of my left eye swell up like a balloon! I had about an hour drive to work and I could only half see out of my left eye. Day number two back to work wasn't looking any better than day number one. Long story short, the swelling didn't start going down until half way through the day and wasn't completely gone until the next morning. I spent yet another day being embarrassed because several new employees started working while I was on leave and I had to meet them looking like I got stung in the face by a bee. I had to tell everyone I talked to right away that I was allergic to the pollen or something so they didn't think my eye always looked like that! Eww. Needless to say I spent most of the day avoiding eye contact with co-workers and failing to avoid customers.

Wednesday came and it was time for another trip to see Liana's pediatrician. Baby girl is up to 10 lbs, 4oz! I have to mention that I should be given an award for often guessing her weight so accurately. Ashton guessed 11 lbs (he always thinks she's a fatty), and I guessed 10-4! I think to be exact she was 10-4.4. Today was the day I had to watch Liana get her first round of infant vaccines. I turned around and picked up my phone to distract myself as Ashton held Liana and the needles were being prepared. I think I actually tweeted about it at that moment... I turned back around just in time to see her getting the third injection and getting cute little band aids on them. Liana let out a cry and Ashton immediately scooped her up to console her. I had tears in my eyes and was afraid I'd start balling. But Liana was quite the little trooper! Literally only a few moments of tears and she was over it! She did amazingly and it made me feel so much better--no actual tears fell from my eyes either. Yay, no need for the embarrassment, haha.


Sorry for the blurry picture, she really is quite the squirmer! She had to drink one of the vaccines and the other three were in her legs, as you can see two band aids in the picture.

I really hope the second half of this week is better than the first. I'm guessing it will be since it involves a pay check and a wedding! :)

Little Roo!

Reading about Disney princesses	Making a run for it!

So beautiful ♥

She had one too many...	Wiggly worm!

Sleeping beauty

Liana and I decided to have a bit of a homemade spa day and pamper ourselves today. We slept in until 10am (after her initial wake and feed at 7am), then Liana ate while I multi-tasked and researched school options online.

Then around noon we took a shower and I used her California Baby calming wash. She was so relaxed, she fell right asleep in her sweet little owl towel! Her brief nap allowed me time to moisturize myself, get dressed, throw up my hair, and pick out her clothes.

Next I decided to massage my little princess awake. I put her on her tummy and rubbed her California Baby lotion on her back and cute little bum cheeks, hehe. She didn't really wake up too much until I rolled her over and did her tummy and put her diaper on her and got her dressed. Of course by that time she was ready for lunch, so I fed her and put her down so I could clean up a bit and get some granola and blueberries for myself. Yum!

Not too much later Ani was ready for another nap, so I let her sleep on the couch while I painted my nails, did a bit of makeup, and worked on my blog. After her nap I trimmed her nails and we relaxed on the couch together for a while, with the window open and a nice breeze blowing in. We both even took another short nap before daddy arrived home from work!
I'm really going to miss spending every day with my little peanut when I go back to work. :( It's too soon!!

Being a mum is definitely the most rewarding job I've ever had. I love everything about it, and yet I am so exhausted! As of the past 3-4 weeks Liana only wakes up once in the night to be fed, the only time we leave the house during the weekdays is to go for walks or for appointments, and we aren't doing very strenuous activities at home. So why am I so darn tired? I honestly think it's more "mental exhaustion" than anything. I have so many thoughts spinning around in my head about what I want to do as I move forward in my life after maternity leave. Childcare for Liana, my job, taking classes, finding time to spend with my family, future children... There is so much to think about while also remaining in the moment. And it's super hard to actually find time to sit down and make a plan while taking care of a new baby.

The most important topic on my plate: Childcare. I have only two and a half weeks left of my maternity leave, and we still don't have a plan for childcare. This is stressing me out to no end, but I don't even know where to begin. My entire family and everyone else that has offered to help us out with babysitting and whatnot is about 2-3 hours away from us, so while the offer is very much appreciated, it doesn't really help us. Daycare centers for infants usually run around $50/day and if I am to be working full time (which I really need to be), that can run us up to $250/week, which is money that we don't have. I'm feeling pretty stuck knowing that we can't afford daycare, but we also can't afford for me to not be working. :(

So that issue brings up thoughts like: Should I get a new job? I know I should find a job that pays more and/or that is closer to home, but I LOVE my job. I've never been able to say that and I honestly don't know a ton of other people who can say that. Of course I have some off days at work and I get the occasional grumpy-pants customer, but I love Whole Foods (Oh, I feel so lame). Should I take classes to be more qualified for another job? Yes I have a Bachelor's degree, but it's a dual degree in sociology and women's studies. Now I know what you're thinking, "what the hell do you do with that?" Exactly. I would really really love to do some type of work with computer technology--(have you seen my new blog layout? It took days of playing around with xml and css codes to get it to look this good!). I am not really qualified for any jobs with computers though, so I would have to take more classes for that. I think my dream would be to incorporate my creative side with my slightly tech savvy side and do graphic design work. Now that is a whole other ballgame.

My biggest problem-- indecisiveness. About EVERYTHING. And for me, that means not acting at all. I have all these thoughts building up and what have I done? Write a blog post about it.

Anyway, enough of me rambling. Here's what you all came for, another photo of my little Ani.

For this little photo shoot I decided on a soot sprite theme (to match her nursery). I only wish she was wearing a little Totoro hat to fit in! She started to get a bit fussy with me so we took a break and jumped in the shower and then she felt much better for the rest and even fell asleep toward the end. Seriously, I got the cutest pictures of her when she got sleepy. You'll see.


Little roo is six weeks old today! I honestly don't even know where the time is going. So much is changing so fast, sometimes I wake up and I'm like, "Wait, I gave birth? I was just pregnant yesterday!" And I so, so miss being pregnant. If I'm sad about anything right now, it's definitely the fact that my belly is flat again. :( There's no way to truly describe it, but I never felt more confident and alive than when I was pregnant. Not to mention, baby girl gave me practically flawless skin and no monthly visits from auntie! lol


Liana news! She can see quite a bit more now and is focusing on and tracking all kinds of moving objects and noises. She seems to really like her new Hello Kitty because of the noise it makes. She holds her head up all the time now and is still practicing rolling over. I'm pretty sure she recognizes her bottle because she gets slightly calmer when she sees it coming (sometimes she's a little too frantic to notice though!). I can't believe how smart she is getting!


Just as things were becoming fairly regular, munchkin has picked up a new sleeping pattern (go figure!). She still sleeps for a good six hour stretch every night, but it is gradually becoming later. What was once 9pm-3am, has now become 11pm-5am. Last night, however, she threw me a complete curveball and decided 7:45pm-2am was best. Whatever the time, I absolutely adore watching her sleep. I get very broken sleep as it is, but sometimes when I wake up to feed her and lay her back down, I still watch her for another half hour or so while she sleeps. I just can't help it!


I know I've been saying how much I love the Moby wrap and that we just purchased an Evenflo carrier, but I have discovered yet another method of babywearing: the sling! I have a Hotslings carrier that is probably the quickest one to use. It is slightly lacking in comfort (for both me and Liana) but it is by far the simplest one to use. Just throw it over your head and one arm and slip baby in between the fabric of the front. Since it isn't the comfiest to wear around, this one is best used when I'm sitting down. It's great for when Liana has just finished eating and is super tired but is fighting off sleep. I slip her in the sling and she nods off within minutes. Perfect!


As every new mum thinks, I have the most beautiful and intelligent little girl there is! She is changing so quickly and I don't want to miss a thing. So naturally, I take a billion pictures of her to the point where she gets pretty annoyed with me! Everything she does is so cute, I don't think I could get a bad picture of her. Along with the every day candid shots, I also enjoy setting up mini photo shoots with her. As long as I can think up new themes and poses (and can find the time when I go back to work), I want to continue with these once a month. How cute will it be to compile these monthly photo shoots for her first birthday?!


I hope you enjoyed this week's photos. I added these and the rest of the pictures from this photo shoot to her one month photo page accessible from the menu above (or you can click here to see them). Hopefully she lets me continue these on a regular basis!


Lastly, I will leave you with this mini clip of what could possibly be her first tiny smile!