Being a mum is definitely the most rewarding job I've ever had. I love everything about it, and yet I am so exhausted! As of the past 3-4 weeks Liana only wakes up once in the night to be fed, the only time we leave the house during the weekdays is to go for walks or for appointments, and we aren't doing very strenuous activities at home. So why am I so darn tired? I honestly think it's more "mental exhaustion" than anything. I have so many thoughts spinning around in my head about what I want to do as I move forward in my life after maternity leave. Childcare for Liana, my job, taking classes, finding time to spend with my family, future children... There is so much to think about while also remaining in the moment. And it's super hard to actually find time to sit down and make a plan while taking care of a new baby.

The most important topic on my plate: Childcare. I have only two and a half weeks left of my maternity leave, and we still don't have a plan for childcare. This is stressing me out to no end, but I don't even know where to begin. My entire family and everyone else that has offered to help us out with babysitting and whatnot is about 2-3 hours away from us, so while the offer is very much appreciated, it doesn't really help us. Daycare centers for infants usually run around $50/day and if I am to be working full time (which I really need to be), that can run us up to $250/week, which is money that we don't have. I'm feeling pretty stuck knowing that we can't afford daycare, but we also can't afford for me to not be working. :(

So that issue brings up thoughts like: Should I get a new job? I know I should find a job that pays more and/or that is closer to home, but I LOVE my job. I've never been able to say that and I honestly don't know a ton of other people who can say that. Of course I have some off days at work and I get the occasional grumpy-pants customer, but I love Whole Foods (Oh, I feel so lame). Should I take classes to be more qualified for another job? Yes I have a Bachelor's degree, but it's a dual degree in sociology and women's studies. Now I know what you're thinking, "what the hell do you do with that?" Exactly. I would really really love to do some type of work with computer technology--(have you seen my new blog layout? It took days of playing around with xml and css codes to get it to look this good!). I am not really qualified for any jobs with computers though, so I would have to take more classes for that. I think my dream would be to incorporate my creative side with my slightly tech savvy side and do graphic design work. Now that is a whole other ballgame.

My biggest problem-- indecisiveness. About EVERYTHING. And for me, that means not acting at all. I have all these thoughts building up and what have I done? Write a blog post about it.

Anyway, enough of me rambling. Here's what you all came for, another photo of my little Ani.

For this little photo shoot I decided on a soot sprite theme (to match her nursery). I only wish she was wearing a little Totoro hat to fit in! She started to get a bit fussy with me so we took a break and jumped in the shower and then she felt much better for the rest and even fell asleep toward the end. Seriously, I got the cutest pictures of her when she got sleepy. You'll see.


Little roo is six weeks old today! I honestly don't even know where the time is going. So much is changing so fast, sometimes I wake up and I'm like, "Wait, I gave birth? I was just pregnant yesterday!" And I so, so miss being pregnant. If I'm sad about anything right now, it's definitely the fact that my belly is flat again. :( There's no way to truly describe it, but I never felt more confident and alive than when I was pregnant. Not to mention, baby girl gave me practically flawless skin and no monthly visits from auntie! lol


Liana news! She can see quite a bit more now and is focusing on and tracking all kinds of moving objects and noises. She seems to really like her new Hello Kitty because of the noise it makes. She holds her head up all the time now and is still practicing rolling over. I'm pretty sure she recognizes her bottle because she gets slightly calmer when she sees it coming (sometimes she's a little too frantic to notice though!). I can't believe how smart she is getting!


Just as things were becoming fairly regular, munchkin has picked up a new sleeping pattern (go figure!). She still sleeps for a good six hour stretch every night, but it is gradually becoming later. What was once 9pm-3am, has now become 11pm-5am. Last night, however, she threw me a complete curveball and decided 7:45pm-2am was best. Whatever the time, I absolutely adore watching her sleep. I get very broken sleep as it is, but sometimes when I wake up to feed her and lay her back down, I still watch her for another half hour or so while she sleeps. I just can't help it!


I know I've been saying how much I love the Moby wrap and that we just purchased an Evenflo carrier, but I have discovered yet another method of babywearing: the sling! I have a Hotslings carrier that is probably the quickest one to use. It is slightly lacking in comfort (for both me and Liana) but it is by far the simplest one to use. Just throw it over your head and one arm and slip baby in between the fabric of the front. Since it isn't the comfiest to wear around, this one is best used when I'm sitting down. It's great for when Liana has just finished eating and is super tired but is fighting off sleep. I slip her in the sling and she nods off within minutes. Perfect!


As every new mum thinks, I have the most beautiful and intelligent little girl there is! She is changing so quickly and I don't want to miss a thing. So naturally, I take a billion pictures of her to the point where she gets pretty annoyed with me! Everything she does is so cute, I don't think I could get a bad picture of her. Along with the every day candid shots, I also enjoy setting up mini photo shoots with her. As long as I can think up new themes and poses (and can find the time when I go back to work), I want to continue with these once a month. How cute will it be to compile these monthly photo shoots for her first birthday?!


I hope you enjoyed this week's photos. I added these and the rest of the pictures from this photo shoot to her one month photo page accessible from the menu above (or you can click here to see them). Hopefully she lets me continue these on a regular basis!


Lastly, I will leave you with this mini clip of what could possibly be her first tiny smile!