Pregnant women are known to be overly hormonal--crying uncontrollably as we watch Simba mourn the death of his father in The Lion King, becoming easily argumentative (especially with our partner), or developing sudden and intense cravings which must be satisfied immediately to avoid an aggressive outburst--but are, for the most part, forgiven for our general lack of emotional stability.
To be honest, I never thought of myself as one of these women. That is one group that I was perfectly okay with being excluded from. Throughout my first pregnancy and in this one so far, I've felt relatively 'normal' and considered Ashton pretty lucky to not have to deal with a sobbing queen or a raging bitch for nine months (excuse my crude, yet accurate, language). However, in light of the events that unfolded on Sunday evening, I am now forced to reevaluate my perceived normalcy.
It started off as an ordinary trip to the grocery store, just Liana and I. It was quite chilly out, so I told Liana to pick a hat to keep warm, and she chose her crocheted tiger hat that her Grammy made her. It's a bit small on her now and she has many others to choose from, but she insists on the tiger hat and I just can't say no to those big blue eyes. Off we went, picking up some fruit for Liana and a chocolate bar for me. As we strolled back out into the parking lot, I decided to stop into another store that is in the same plaza. We dropped our bag in the car before walking over to the other store. That's when I noticed... her tiger hat was missing! We retraced our steps and scoured the parking lot to no avail. I was devastated. We arrived home and I told Ashton that we lost the tiger hat. I had been doing quite well holding myself together, but Ashton reminded me of how much Liana loved that hat and I completely lost it. The more I thought about it, the more dismal my mood became. Liana often chose her tiger hat over the others and now she'll never wear it again. It was all my fault; I should have been paying better attention as I am entirely aware that she regularly throws things overboard. I felt the hot tears swell in my eyes and stream down my face and there was nothing I could do to stop them. Feeling entirely helpless I curled into a ball in our bed. It seemed as though Liana and Ashton also felt helpless, not knowing how to handle me. Liana was attempting to wipe away my tears and Ashton offered to go out and look for the hat again. I desperately wanted to take him up on the offer, but I grasped onto the little rationality that my altered state had maintained and so declined. I sobbed into my pillow for a good half an hour.
I kept asking myself, "what is wrong with me?" I couldn't come up with a reasonable answer until I replayed the shameful event the next day: I am pregnant. Crazy things are happening with my hormones, I am emotionally unstable at times, and I can't help it. Now that I have experienced my initiation into the group I was previously excluded from and can accept it for what it is, I will take a deep breath and move on.
If any other ladies want to share an embarrassing story about your pregnancy hormones acting up, leave a comment below, I'd love to read about them!