Saturday, July 25, 2015

When A Stranger Touches Your Baby


Liana had her 15 month appointment at the pediatrician’s office on Wednesday. It was the first time that she got down and played with the toys in the waiting area. I was watching her and thinking, “She looks like a little kid. Where did my baby go? She can’t possibly be growing up this fast.” But she is, and I’m not entirely prepared for it. How can I possibly teach my daughter everything she needs to know to take care of herself? Can I always be there to protect her in potentially dangerous situations? I’ve been asking myself these questions after our experience with a stranger a few days ago. (Read the back story here)

Maybe it was an irrational fear that someone wanted to steal or harm my child, but that was the first time I felt afraid while alone with Liana, and I kept wishing Ashton was with us. Maybe the man meant no harm at all and was just a bit socially awkward and I completely misread his behavior as being rude, creepy, and stalker-ish. Regardless of his intent, I do think he was overstepping some personal boundaries. I am perfectly fine with strangers smiling, waving, or saying ‘hi’ to Liana, but tickling and poking—especially when she is clearly uncomfortable—is not okay with me. Thinking back, I am keep questioning my own behavior. Should I have been more direct by stating that I would not like him touching my child? Should I have voiced that he was making me/us uncomfortable? I’ve read several parenting articles and skimmed through a book or two, but nothing prepared me for this type of situation. Where’s the mommy manual when I need it?

Now I am honestly curious about what other mothers would do in a similar situation. How do you respond when a stranger touches your baby (or child of any age)? Have you ever been in a similarly uncomfortable situation?

19 comments:

  1. I dont have any kids so I cant relate to this....but it sounds terrible.

    I dont even like people touching me at all.......no handshakes, hugs, highfive or whatever. Especially strangers......I know if I ever had a child I would be super overprotective of it because there are some very evil people in the world!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes exactly! I don't want to have the perspective that everyone is out to get my child, but I'm too afraid of the possibility. :(

      Delete
  2. I don't (yet) have a child. But, I believe in the power of intuition. If a stranger approaches you and Liana and you get an uncomfortable vibe, trust it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, I honestly should have mentioned something to one of the cashiers so they would be aware of the situation in case he did follow us outside.

      Delete
  3. I don't like strangers touching my kids at all. First, it's rude .Second, I am concerned with germs, as my babies were preemies. You would never expect a stranger to touch an adult, so a child should be no different .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, I agree! I don't know where his hands have been! And I feel the same way about strangers touching my pregnant belly. It is so rude to touch somebody else's body parts without asking. I would feel completely awkward doing that!

      Delete
  4. Your fears and worries are normal, I have heard people speak of this before. You are there to protect your daughter and that is what you are trying to do. You are looking out for her and that's fab.

    Gemma xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't like strangers being like this with my kids. It's different when elderly grandma type ladies do it but even they know the boundaries. It's worse when you're somewhere confined and can't get away, otherwise I just walk off with the kids. #love2blog

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is a weird one, because the one hand we do everything to protect our children and sometimes I think we just aren't aware of the boundaries ourselves. I'm not keen on people touching my child either, but if they do I'm not overly concerned or worried as long as I'm there. In a way I like it when strangers approach my child (in a supermarket queue etc) as I think it'll develop his social skills. But I can totally see why you would feel uncomfortable.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm quite happy when people chat away with Toby when we're out and about, maybe a little cheek squidge but I would probably find it a little odd for someone to poke and tickle him if we'd not been chatting and interacting as adults. I can see why it would make you uncomfortable xx

    ReplyDelete
  8. It is so hard, I have gone away from situations that happened and thought 'um I wasn't very happy with that or uncomfortable' but when it happens at the time you freeze I think and don't act how you normally would. I have a older son and twin girls and I struggled with going out with them all because I felt like I didn't have enough hands to protect them all at the same time. Like you was scared someone would take one whilst I was dealing with the other. It's silly!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thankfully noone random has ever touched N, or I'd have said something blunt to them. It's an invasion of the child's space and the parent should be asked.

    ReplyDelete
  10. It's a tough one isn't it? I suffered badly with anxiety. If I was ever at the doctor surgery I just sat playing with my twins ignoring everyone around me. Or would say to the girls. No no don't go over there. I think you need to trust your own voice and do what's right. You are the mother and protector. Never doubt your instincts xxx

    ReplyDelete
  11. I totally understand how you feel. I would have told him to stop though, it made you both feel uncomfortable but I get you didn't want to be rude also. Maybe next time just get up and walk away if you feel you can't say anything :) xx

    ReplyDelete
  12. I completely get where you're coming from and after reading the back story, I would feel really uncomfortable if someone did that to my daughter too. He probably didn't mean any harm, but his behaviour seems really strange! Like previous comments have said - it's an invasion of space xx

    ReplyDelete
  13. I would have freaked out too, his behaviour was totally bizarre and you did well by staying away from him. I would have stayed in the shop and called someone to come and rescue us if the same scenario happened to us.xx

    ReplyDelete
  14. My goodness that sounds horrible. I do find it a bit weird when people touch my child, I kind of think why on earth are you touching my daughters face with your hands - it can make me a bit uncomfortable. But I think this was so much worse because he was just addressing her and not you. Hope you're ok xx

    ReplyDelete
  15. I don't feel this way. When I'm with my child it really doesn't bother me too much. I can totally understand you though. We want to protect our children and it's a very sad world we live in that we have to worry about people being kind.

    ReplyDelete
  16. yes I totally find it weird when people touch my child! I always wish I had said something afterwards rather than being polite especially if Wilf is looking at me like 'why is this person ruffling my hair??' x

    ReplyDelete