Liana is 5 weeks old today and about halfway through her "newborn" stage. I decided to choose and write about three baby items that have been absolute lifesavers over the past 5 weeks with her.

Graco Pack 'N Play's Portable Cuddle Cove

This is the item responsible for helping Liana sleep through the night without me. For weeks she would sleep only an hour or so by herself, but would sleep up to 5 hours with me. While I love spending the night with my little snuggle bug, it's really important to get her used to sleeping on her own. I think she likes the snugness and warmth of the Cuddle Cove, making her feel comfortable and safe. She now sleeps between 5 and 7 hours a night in this!

Moby wrap

This is one of the most convenient baby items we own. We started using this when Liana was around 2 weeks old and have tried several different carry positions with it. I love the fact that I can keep her close to me, but also allow me to do other things around the house or use it when we go out as well. It is extremely comfortable to wear, since it is basically a long piece of cloth that is tied around our bodies. We also have an Evenflo carrier that is great as well, but I love that the Moby wrap offers a lot of different carry positions.

Woombie

This is one way to get the perfect swaddle every time! Many babies love to be swaddled tightly because it reminds them of the coziness and safety of being in the womb. When Liana is having trouble going down for a nap during the day, sometimes the Woombie is just what she needs to calm down. We zip her up in this and put her in her Cuddle Cove during the day (we don't need to use it at night because she is a pretty good night sleeper). This is so much easier than trying to put her in a tight blanket swaddle that she's going to kick her way out of anyway!


There are definitely other items that we received as gifts that we use all the time and really appreciate, but these were the ones that stood out to me the most and make a difference almost daily. I think it'll be interesting to see how this list will change over time as Liana grows. :)

Liana is growing so fast! She is growing out of her "newborn" habits and is getting used to being outside of my tummy. I watch her growing stronger and bigger and smarter every day.

I decided to give my blog a makeover to keep up with Liana's transformation from the little sprout in my tummy to my bouncing little roo!

Enjoy the new look!

When thinking up a theme for her nursery, I really wanted to create a fun and unique space for my little one to call her own. I chose a theme that I haven't seen before for a nursery and also requested lots of handmade items from family members to make it extra special.


Liana's nursery theme is Studio Ghibli, with a minty green and pink underlying color scheme. If you haven't read my previous posts on this, Studio Ghibli is a Japanese animation film studio that has produced many of the anime films that I have come to fall in love with over the past several years. While there are very serious and intriguing morals and messages in each of the films, I felt that the animation style and and some of the surface story lines could be suited for a child's room. So I got to have a blast playing around with the creation of something I love while also giving Liana a completely unique room to brag about in the future!! (Or maybe I'll be the one doing all the bragging, ha!)


My mom has been a HUGE supporter in making Liana's nursery truly come to life. She doesn't have a ton of knowledge on the Studio Ghibli films, but she went out of her way to find and create her own patterns for several different characters and handmade them with such determination! They are so beautifully done and I love them so much (I'm sure Liana will too!) Liana is very lucky to have such a caring and involved Grammy!


I also *mildly hinted* that I would love for anyone who wanted to, to hand make something that would be placed in Liana's nursery. Lot's of people delivered on that request! Liana now has tons of handmade blankets that I couldn't be more grateful for. I've found different places for many of them, so they can be shown off instead of thrown in a drawer somewhere. She has a pink one and a minty green one draped over the end and side of her crib, a beautiful multi-colored one draped over the back of my glider in the nursery, a purple one draped over the back of my glider in the living room, a tiny multi-colored one draped over the ottoman in the nursery, and an owl quilt spread underneath some of the Ghibli characters. I also hung a handmade tote bag on the nursery doorknob and placed her handmade hats and shoes between the Ghibli characters on her shelf.


The handmade pieces that I contributed include the paper wall decorations (the two totoros and the soot sprites in the corners of the room), the Ghibli painted block set (I finished three blocks and started a fourth), and Liana's name decoration above her crib. Her name decoration is especially unique and holds sentimental value because it is crafted from the tissue paper and ribbons from her baby shower gifts. I wanted to make this sooner and was kicking myself in the butt because it was done so last minute, but now I'm really glad I decided to wait because it has an added personalized touch by reusing materials from her gifts!


I am so happy with how well everything turned out and I love being in Liana's room. I also love that it is by far the brightest room in the apartment so it's the prime location for really great pictures of her. I think I'll have to do a little photo shoot to post with her one month update!

My introduction to the joys of motherhood!

Routines.

Recovery.

Liana is three weeks old today. Between naps and spit-up and poop, it's been a pretty amazing three weeks!! It hasn't been long, but I know already that motherhood is such a blessing. Every little thing Liana does is exciting. I've watched her roll over on the floor already, hold her head up for a couple minutes until she gets too tired and then she gets wobbly, sitting up by just gripping my fingers in her tiny hands for support, and watching her eyes adjust as she tries grabbing for my necklace again and again (she got it twice in a row one day!).


I'm sure I'm the only one who has noticed how much she's grown already too. I look at her tiny hands and head and think "those were definitely smaller before!" I still stare at her face in amazement and wonder how she will grow into all of her features and what color her eyes will be (they are blue right now, but I think they are getting darker).


Being a mum has changed my life so much, and I love every aspect of it. Some people feel like they have to sacrifice a lot when becoming a parent, but I don't really feel that way. I've been allowed to be selfish and think of only myself for twenty-five years, and I feel like that was long enough. I'm so ready to give everything I have to take care of my little peanut. I want to do whatever it takes to be a great mother and watch Liana learn and grow. I loved being pregnant so much. I loved feeling her kick and tumble and hiccup. I loved poking my tummy and playing with the little mystery person inside. Every decision I made was with her in mind, and I know that will continue for the next eighteen years. There is nothing more beautiful than creating life and watching it grow into something wonderful. <3


Happy Mother's Day to all of you lovely women who have been blessed with a bundle of joy. Cherish each and every moment with your little ones! <3

This is my diary recounting the events during the days that led up to the birth of my beautiful daughter, Liana Ruby. It's long, it's detailed, and yes, it includes those "tmi" moments.

Friday April 18th, 2014. 39 weeks, 3 days pregnant.

12:00PM- Noon
Today started out like any other ordinary day. Ashton left for work early this morning and for me, I finally get a day off after working seven days in a row. Despite feeling a bit exhausted from the past week, I still managed to get up decently early and I've made it my mission to finish the nursery today. I have planned to finish making and hang up Liana's name decoration for above her crib, hang up the Studio Ghibli prints I picked up at Anime Boston, sort through the boxes and boxes of clothes that were given to us from friends, do a few loads of baby laundry, reorganize her closet a bit with bigger clothes in back and newborn bits up front, and do some cleaning around the apartment.

12:30PM
As I was getting busy in the nursery, I stepped out for a quick snack and bathroom break and to my surprise, I lost part of my mucus plug! I had been questioning whether I would know what it's supposed to look like or if I would see it at all (I know some women don't since it might just fall in the toilet), but when I saw it there was no doubt it my mind what it was! Yay! Of course, I know this doesn't mean much in terms of when my little one will arrive, but I am excited because it means that things are moving along and getting ready for the big day!

4:00PM
I had been working steadily in the nursery for about 3 hours, so when Ashton called from work I decided to take a short break and relax in my glider. After we hung up, I couldn't bring myself to get up right away, and decided it was alright to do some social networking from my phone before working up the energy to continue. Now that it has been an hour, I know I should get up, at least to eat soon. I just started getting some mild cramps in my lower abdomen and Braxton Hicks are starting up again. Ugh.

Saturday April 19th, 2014. 39 weeks, 4 days pregnant.

2:00AM
I got up a little while ago to use the bathroom--something I have done in the middle of the night only a handful of times since I've been pregnant. I still have cramps and the contractions haven't lightened up at all, so it's harder to sleep tonight.

9:30AM
Ashton and I are leaving in a few minutes to go pick up Desiree and Aaron since they've decided to spend a few nights with us. Desiree says she wants to be here when I go into labor (who knows when that will be though?!). I'm trying to ignore the menstrual-like cramping in my abdomen as well as the continuing Braxton Hicks contractions, especially since I'm about to embark on a three hour car ride to New Hampshire and then three hours back! Yikes!

5:30PM
We got home a few hours ago and now I'm sitting in my glider watching I Love You Man with Desiree and Aaron. Ashton went to visit his dad so he could go ride the bike while it was still light out. Around 4:30pm, I lost the rest of my mucus plug and now the cramps and contractions are starting to intensify and I believe they are becoming more regular. I just came to a sudden realization: I've been in early labor! Contractions have continued for over twenty-four hours now, so I'm convinced they will continue until I go into active labor. I'm going to start timing them. Little one could be coming soon! :)

8:00PM
A few hours ago around 6pm, Ashton called to invite us to his Dad's house for dinner. I was ready to put the discomfort aside and head over, but Desiree and Aaron were both really tired and Desiree was had a bad cough and sinus symptoms from allergies. I told Ashton the contractions were getting worse and he decided to head home. Then between 6:30-7pm, Desiree, Aaron and Ashton went out to go get dinner and I decided to stay behind and lay down to rest. When they returned, my contractions were at the same intensity as my heavy menstrual cramps, which I often had to sleep through or they would otherwise have me in tears. I timed contractions for two hours and noticed they were three and a half to five minutes a part and lasting forty seconds to one minute long. I now realize I have been in active labor since I started timing my contractions at 5:30pm. Ashton and I just called the midwife on call at the hospital because it's becoming hard for me to speak through the contractions. The midwife advised me to try a different laboring technique and to call back in an hour or two. She said I probably have a lot of time since this is my first baby and first labors are usually the longest. Ashton is running the bath for me right now and I'm hoping that will ease the contractions, while still allowing them to progress.

10:15PM
We are heading to the hospital! I labored in the bathtub for over an hour (right after I took one last photo of my pregnant belly!). While the warm water made the cramps more bearable, I can feel them becoming more intense. I called the midwife back around 9:30pm to let her know we would be on our way, even though she thought I would still be in labor for a while and that I should stay home for a bit longer. I'm glad sitting down hasn't become uncomfortable yet because I'm in for a forty-five minute to one hour car ride to the hospital!

Sunday April 20th, 2014. 39 weeks, 5 days pregnant.

12:00AM- Midnight
I'd never been more excited to pull up to a hospital in my life! We pulled up to the valet area just after 11pm, but there wasn't anyone available so we made the quick decision to park in the garage across the street. I'll admit I was a bit unsure about this decision since I wasn't completely confident that I could even walk across the street at that point, but I was sure going to try. It turned out not to be that bad at all, I just felt out of breath. I waddled across the street and we went in to fill out some paperwork before I could be checked and admitted. I tried really hard to focus on the paperwork and just signed where I was told. We were then led around the corner, down the hall, and up to the fifth floor to the labor and delivery hall of the Connors Center for Women and Newborns. We were in a waiting area for maybe ten minutes, but to me it felt like an eternity. Two night shift nurses were sitting at the desk complaining about the day shift nurses and all I could think about was the discomfort I was in while trying to focus on my breathing and wondering why no one was coming out for me. Finally a nurse came out to get me, but didn't let Ashton come with me. I was a little uneasy about that but realized she had to ask a lot of questions that he couldn't be around for (whether I was being abused in our relationship, etc). He got to come in after all the initial questions were out of the way, just in time for the nurse to put two bands around my belly that would monitor my contractions as well as the baby's heartbeat for a few minutes. A cervical check indicated that I was dilated to five centimeters; I was so relieved! I don't know how I would have reacted if I wasn't dilated enough to be admitted when I was so uncomfortable already. After voicing my desire for a natural childbirth with no medication and requesting a room with a birthing tub, Ashton and I were led to the room I was to labor and deliver in, and now the nurse is filling the tub. I can't wait to get in!

2:15AM
I've been laboring in this tub for about two hours and I can barely keep my head up. I am literally falling asleep between contractions. Ashton is sitting on a stool to my left and I feel bad because I know sitting like that for hours can't be comfortable either. He has been so supportive though, making sure I stay hydrated with water and periodically offering me ice chips and telling me I'm doing great. I experienced sudden nausea about an hour ago and vomited within seconds. Up until this point I've been managing contractions with meditation and visualization techniques. Every time I feel a contraction coming on, I close my eyes and imagine I'm laying on the beach in Hawaii. I can practically feel the sun warming my skin. I listen to the waves of the ocean rolling in as the pain intensifies. I then focus on taking long deep breaths and counting backwards from ten with each exhale. The contraction usually subsides before I get to zero, and I get to relax again. It's getting harder and harder to relax in my little paradise, and it's even more annoying that there is a clock directly across the room from me. Each time I look up I notice that barely a minute has passed. I just want to make it to 2:30am.

2:25AM
I'm not sure how much longer I can take this. In the past ten minutes my pain level has progressed from a seven to a nine, borderline ten. With my visualization I was experiencing contractions merely as waves of pressure that came and went, but now they are almost constant pain. I am doing everything I can to keep from wriggling around and crying out in pain. Another episode of nausea and more vomit. I need to push this baby out now!!!

2:32AM
The nurse knew my body was ready to start pushing and she called the midwife as the tub was emptying. My body instinctively began pushing while I was still in the tub, even though the nurse said not to, and I could feel my baby moving lower. The tub seemed to take forever to empty enough for me to get out, and then I had to wait for the next contraction to make it to the bed. The midwife rushed in and checked to make sure I was dilated to ten centimeters and gave the okay to push. My water hasn't even broken yet! Although I'm in a lot of pain, I still find it amusing that I literally feel like I have to take a giant poop....

2:44AM
My body feels so relieved to be pushing; it's actually nice to feel a different kind of discomfort. It feels really good to push, but I'm terrified of tearing down there and can barely bring myself to put all of my effort into it. I'm trying to relax my lower body as much as possible, to prevent any tension or tightening that might stall the progression from pushing. It seemed like no time had passed at all when the midwife said she could see my baby's head. She asked if I wanted to feel it and I really did, but got so flustered I couldn't even answer her and just wanted to push more. I felt the exact moment when my little girl's head was crowning and I was torn with fear and anticipation. I took a short break from pushing and the midwife guided my breathing to just ease her head out with quick gentle breaths. My baby's head was born en caul (still in the amniotic sac). The midwife asked if it was okay to break my waters now, since it would make the rest of the delivery faster. I don't remember replying, but I didn't say no either. She punctured the sac and now there is a gush of liquid spreading over the bed linens beneath me. The midwife and nurse both keep telling me how well I am doing, and the encouragement is really helping. I know my baby is almost out, I just need to relax and get in a few more good pushes.

2:45AM
By "a few more good pushes", apparently I meant two. I had the bedsheets clenched in my left hand and Ashton's hand in my right, and I pushed with all I had in me through the next contraction. Too quickly for me to process what was happening, my little girl slid out of me and now she is on my chest. "She's a girl, right?!" Ashton says that she is. She is too close to my chin for me to look down and see her, but I can feel how tiny she is on me. I love her. She was born very calmly and the nurse has to bother her a bit to get her to cry. The midwife pushes on my stomach to move my placenta down and says I need to push one more time to deliver it. "Thank you", I say to my little peanut and "thank you", I say to Ashton. I am beyond relieved for her to finally be out. I feel the placenta slide out with the next push and I ask to see it. The midwife shows Ashton and I the placenta and amniotic sac, where my baby lived for the past nine months. I see her check the umbilical cord to see if it is done pulsating and she has Ashton cut it. She checks for tearing and says that it is so superficial that I barely have a first degree tear. She did a few stitches on the inside and I only needed one stitch on the outside. The nurse and midwife say again and again how well I handled both labor and delivery (especially for a first time mum!). At 2:45am on Easter morning, at the same time my beautiful baby girl was born into this world at five pounds twelve ounces and eighteen and half inches long, I was also reborn, as a mother.

4:45AM
They let me hold onto my baby for skin-to-skin contact for a long time, and I was so glad to not have to give her up right away. They took her briefly to clean her up a little since she pooped and got it on herself and my arm. I remember being surprised that she pooped and I didn't! Within forty-five minutes of birth, my baby girl found her way to my breast for nursing. I fed her for a while and just stared at her in amazement. I was offered postpartum pain medication (a little Motrin or ibuprofen), but I declined all offers. Now the nurse is wheeling me up to a postpartum room on the tenth floor and Ashton is moving our baby in her bassinet. This is where we will rest and recover for the next forty-eight hours. This is where my baby will become better adjusted to life outside of the womb. This is where I will fall in love all over again.
There is no way to describe the feeling of seeing and holding your child for the first time. I carried her in my belly for nine months and now I finally get to carry her in my arms. I find myself staring at her in wonder, "so this is what you look like." She's absolutely perfect. I am proud.